I've been whinging all day about this but I really hate taking photos! How do you capture the pure essence of a doll with only one or two stand out pictures? They have to have good depth, accurate colour, an interesting atmosphere and scene... And all the things that go without saying like it has to be in focus and clear! No busy backgrounds because often dolls are busy enough. So what colour? What texture? Is there not enough going on the background? What about pose? Confusing tangents between limbs or places where colours melt into one another?  

I got the whole aperture, iso, shutter speed, white balance thing sorted in my head but it's the rest, the actual artistry behind photography that's the pain!

When I finally think I have my head around what I need to do to get a good photo there are other limiting factors like environment, weather, insufficient lighting (and no budget for a better one), space... Feels like I broke a knee trying to cram myself in a corner on the floor to take photos of the upcoming finished commission. What if I just started taking turntable photos with a plain white or black background for every single doll, no posing, just craft? How boring is that! But it's the best way to show every detail.

Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel I could take fantastic photos of very small things like beads or jewellery or mushrooms, and sometimes I feel I could take great composed photos of bigger things like children or trees or chairs. And sometimes I wish I could add loads of artsy filters to my photos to make them look pretty, but then they wouldn't be accurate.

Photography!! Why you so hard!! I have a lot of respect for good photographers.

I love breeding games. I'm pretty obsessed with Dragon Skies at the moment. I was also doing a bunch of research for a breeding game and went down a mendelian genetics route... It gets so complex. I wish I could get my head around it all.

If you're into that kind of experimenting you might like this very chillaxing flower breeding mendelian genetics game I found. [link] It's great for relaxing.

Sometimes when I start on a commission that's just the most incredible design I throw all "business sense" out of the window, ignore all advice from my advisor, eat 90% of the costs and go all out.

These massive commissions often take months of meticulous work and emailing to get through and it renders my time down to nothing, my bank runs dry and my blogs and sites all start to look a bit dusty from a lack of updates. That's not so bad, but when things go wrong again and again and months start rolling by without spending money on myself or my pets it really starts getting me down. I start to worry, I start getting cranky, I get nervous that the lack of updates means I'll lose all the people who are interested in my work. I see incredible artists uploading new work every week, sometimes twice a week, and I wonder how on earth they find the time to do that and lead a normal life. I see work by someone who has made their first art doll that is MILES better than anything I could ever do and I go into a massive slump! Such beautiful work made so fast and so effortlessly, it makes all of my struggles look futile and pointless.

When I get to that stage I have to yank out the big guns to help keep spirits high. Usually there is a hump I have to get over, and sometimes the anxiety is so bad I can't and I end up freezing up for months like last summer. Having a list or a collection of ideas and things written by a Happy Me will help cheer Grumpy Me up when the hump starts looming!

It's a very personal thing so I don't expect all of these things to work for you, but I thought I would share anyway just incase something clicks. Things like, people say "go for a walk". Often going for a walk makes me angrier! I can't explain why, I suppose it gives me time to brood on things that make me grumpy. Then I feel guilty that I'm not working, I'm walking, and that the best artists don't just roll over and go for a walk, they power through and make amazing work anyway, and "WHY can't I do that and ohh I'm such a failure I should just throw in the towel!" It's not true, I'm not a failure, but sometimes cogitating on why I can't work gives me time to focus on my negative aspects. So here are methods that DO work for me.

1. Looking at my old work.

That was a doll I was very proud of when I made it. He sits on my bookshelf in my studio with his massive, awful bug-eyes and that grin and I think of the happy time I made him. I was in the studio at university surrounded by friends, chatting, listening to music, it was a sunny day in a bright room and I was having a blast mixing resin and fimo, looking at art in books and reading about lammergeiers... He makes me happy for two reasons.
a. it was such a great time making him and I had FUN!
b. he's awful!! He's so dreadful! My work now is so much better and it's great to see the improvement and how far I've progressed.

2. Having fresh flowers and plants growing everywhere.

My studio has two big windows on two walls, one has a desk running along it which looks out onto my aviary and the other has a windowseat looking onto the veg patch that I grow tomatoes, nasturtiums, wildflowers, beans and other propagated plants on. The veg patch is bare for a lot of the year so I make it a point to have at least five or six potted or fake plants in the studio that I look after along with the seedlings on the windowseat. I also have fake flowers everywhere to make me feel fresh, when they get dusty I just chuck 'em in the dishwasher and they come out sparkling Fake flowers are great, they look real and make everything feel sunny and alive. Real flowers make me feel so happy, I get to watch them grow, they don't need much maintenance, just water in essence but you can get really into the soil, light, warmth, food and other things. You can be as complicated or as simple as you like and when they die down in the autumn you have the fake flowers as a back-up.

3. Turning off the internet!
When I'm in a funk I often try to get "inspiration" by looking at other artists work, but I ALWAYS end up feeling worse! It's either "why didn't I think of that" or "that's so beautiful, I could never make that" or "I should draw more, why don't I draw more, I don't have enough time" or "I really want to do a trade with them I wish I had more time!"... Then I see really incredible doll artists producing the most amazing posable and then selling them for peanuts!!! It makes me so sad and angry, then I just end up playing Skyrim for a week trying to escape from it all, which is so counterproductive. I can deal with and enjoy internet art when I'm happy and cheerful, but I have to turn the internet off when I'm sad. Just getting away from the rush of information for three or four days really helps freshen my brain up. It's tough and often an extreme case because I have a lot of friends I chat to, but when I do do it I always come back feeling totally fantastic.

4. Going for a walk to the beach and watching my dog.

This is a short term solution because after the beach bit I have to walk up a cliff and along the tops to get home and I always end up thinking grumpy thoughts then, but walking TO the beach and ALONG the beach is awesome. I mean how could you not feel at least some glimmer of happiness watching that mad hairy dog running around in circles, just glad to be alive? He adores the beach and I adore him, so seeing him so full of life and happiness and playing fetch with him for a while really lifts my spirits.

5. Cleaning the studio.
I hate cleaning, it takes up time and it shouldn't need to be done, but as much as I hate it I always feel better in a tidy studio and house. A lot of my anxiety is time related, so stopping work and spending time cleaning is low priority, but when the worst comes to the worst, spending five minutes tidying my desk, wiping it and sweeping the floor helps me clear my head a little.

6. Doing my accounts
Uuuggghhh... This can be a double-edged sword... Often when I tot up income and expenditure at the end of the month (sometimes half way through the month) it's bad news. I always seem to spend everything I earn, no matter how much I earn, I'll spend it and make about £30 profit for that month! It's frustrating to see it in black and white, but equally it helps me feel clear about WHERE the money is going (website fees and postage mostly) and HOW to stop spending it! I have GOT to stop buying in so much stock (or at least use up what I have) and I need to work out where my personal drawings are going. Working out finances helps relieve stress as it gives me the ability to form a game plan, what to do to make it right. Floating around in a limbo of not really knowing what's wrong feels awful.

7. Playing pokemon or skyrim
This is a bad one I try to stay away from as it's pure escapism. I feel good while I'm doing it, very content, but when the consoles are switched off I realise I wasted four hours doing essentially nothing. It's good at the end of the day as a reward though, if I get time inbetween supper and bed.

8. Have a glass of wine
This is a naughty one I shouldn't really do and need to keep an eye on but when I'm feeling REALLY REALLY awful I'll share a bottle of wine with my boyfriend and we'll watch some ridiculous film and it helps me escape for a while.

9. Look at that drawing I did of myself

I drew this about 18 months ago to remind myself not to give up or else I'll end up living in a damp hovel in the woods like a cave man. It acts as a perpetual warning and is on my fridge. I wouldn't mind living in a wood but I do suspect I'd go completely mad and turn feral, and I love having a hot bath so I'd rather not live in the woods. Reminding myself that having a hot bath and fresh food all year round (thanks to the Refrigerator) and the resulting bills is still better than sharing a wet hollow with woodlice and centipedes.

10. SUCCEEEEEEEEED
This morning I started writing this and got to number 7, then decided to go and do work. I was in a foul mood and didn't want to do it, but did it anyway. I procrastinated a LOT, but when I really got stuck in... I actually had a fantastic time. I managed to solve several problems and worked straight through lunch and tea... Then at 7.30 Rob brought me sustenance and booze and told me Crufts was on telly. The things I succeeded at were as follows:
Utilised materials that have been lying around for centuries to fix *scenceable's commission's antlers
Remembered about another material that was perfect for ENHANCING said antlers
Remembered ANOTHER material perfect for *Treekami's commission's wings
Successfully put all three remembered materials into use and made awesome antlers and freaking brilliant wings that you guys are gonna DIG SO HARD
I succeeded at solving three problems today (everything comes in threes) and it's given me a fantastic feeling for the weekend, that this week wasn't wasted and I DID accomplish things and I AM alright.
I feel great, you know I'm gonna add an 11

11. Write down things that cheer you up!
Spending time really thinking about it made me realise and remember why I do what I do and why I love doing it. It gave me time to contemplate my life, how good it was and how lucky I am. And after doing it for a while I did get bored and went to do something more interesting: making dolls It's a small thing... And something I wouldn't do usually because it uses up valuable time. But when the chips are down... You'll try anything.

Well... I hope something maybe helped you, I feel great for getting all this off my chest. As a business I feel it's unprofessional to let your secrets out, but to be honest... ever since I started the whole "business" thing I think my art and DEFINITELY my happiness have suffered. Most of it is money related :/ I feel I can't spend hours and hours working on something now because it's a waste and I could be doing something better and EARNING money instead of arseing about... But it's important to have that time to yourself to do what you want to do. I said this to my business advisor recently and he said that most female creatives get like this and he was really worried I'd burn out. He said it's SO IMPORTANT to give yourself "creative time", even if it's 15 minutes a day, just something to make you relax and look forward to and take your mind off everything else.

I have some tricks for keeping yourself organised that I got from him too but... I think that's for another day, this journal is long enough

Have a great weekend everyone.

I quietly reached 100,000 pageviews about a week ago and had a party to myself. I never, ever thought I'd reach triple figures on this site, and I never thought it would be through doll-making I gotta say thank you to every single person who comes to visit, pageviews, comments, favourites, the occasional llama... it all spurs me on, to keep making, to keep photographing and to keep involved! I love you guys!

I bought a lot of plastic ball-and-socket armature cord by the foot recently and it was HUGE, too big for the scale I work at. I have some smaller stuff on order now I know which point it's measured at, but the rather excellent *Treekami decided to go for the new armature over wire, consequentially making her commission GINORMOUS! I finished sculpting his head today so I can start sculpting the mould for the wings now, he's standing at about a foot and a half from ground to head at the moment, roughly. His wingspan is going to be enormous... I'm really excited

*scenceable's commission has been putting me through my paces Janine is cracking the whip this time and doing what she does best, pushing me to do my very best. I had to chop all his feet off and resculpt them so reattaching the new ones to the armature has been causing hiccups over the past week. I got some quality time alone with Verse today though and happily front legs have been redone and the back legs shouldn't be as tricky...

In My Life I've been running the Pound for Piper charity shop for Mum. She's raising money to restore a memorial gardens back to it's original glory as it's been lying abandoned for 20-odd years and it's disrespectful to say the least. The first rose is being planted in the next couple of weeks and we've been getting about £500 every few days through the shop, needless to say my evenings have been BUSY packaging t-shirts, hoodies, polo shirts and the like every evening on my own... Paypal is so slow to print labels out with ugh. The fun side is ordering the new stock though, I got a huge catalogue of Things you can order with your charity logo on it and it's been great fun picking what to order and how much of... Did you know you can order 7200 custom embossed chocolate coins for about £2400? Or 100 custom swiss army knives for £910? Not that I have... But I think it's cool ^_^

Felisfire also got an overhaul recently with Knife being replaced as head admin by Stillwaters. Still is a lot more organised and it's really nice to see things being done, I think she's preparing a biiiiiiig list of stuff for me to draw as I'm officially a site artist, but right now I'm finding TWO items tough what with the charity shop and these massive commissions. I WILL have a good work ethic though, I WILL!!

Here's a thought for you, have you ever seen how much work some other artists kick out in a week? It's like their work machines and just produce amazing, incredible art NON-STOP! I find it tough making DragonFox dolls, Mofs and commissions and doing FelisFire work and running this charity shop all at the same time, with a sprinkling of socialising inbetween, but there are one or two artists I follow that literally put out commissions, OOAKs, a few drawings, some apparel, dolls, sculptures... like... every couple of days! And watch telly and have meals and boyfriends and lead Normal Lives as well! How do they do it!! I wish I had that discipline >_<

I wish I could skip meals but I get into a sort of Hulk-like rage if I miss more than one meal (breakfast included). And I wish I could work late into the night like loads of people do but I just seem to produce absolute balls if I try and work when I'm tired and my heart's not in it. I can't rush things anymore and be happy with the quality anymore :/ You know in December last year I made four dolls, a Balrog, Nox, L and Melody's present IN ABOUT A WEEK!! How did I do that!! Why can't I do that anymore!

Someone send me a bulk pack of coffee or something, or tell me the secret to eternal fast-ness! I wanna know!

~The-GoblinQueen found an eBay listing for one of my dolls being sold by the original owner. It's the "raccoon wolf" I made back in Aug 2011.



You can find the auction here. But it now price is a super low $55!

Hello everyone
Exciting news!
(Sounded a bit like Prof Farnsworth there...)

I've released my old tutorial, Armature to Art Doll. It's been up on the website Doll Makers Dream for the past couple of years to encourage people to do their own research (easy to find if you googled 'art doll tutorial') but I see no harm in taking it out of storage.

I'd like to point out (as I have in the first part) that it is dated. I don't personally make dolls like this anymore. In fact, amongst other things, I completely scrapped wire armatures recently in favour of plastic ball-and-socket armatures. However it serves a perfect purpose of getting you started in the basics of doll making

One thing I would add is that I haven't made armatures for the feet in a long, long time. When I used wire I twisted a little loop in the end with pliers to stop the fimo from spinning or the wire from coming out. Also copper can discolour fimo over time.

Another thing I would like to mention is that if you make a doll with the tutorial I would LOVE to see it! You can submit it to the open folder at named "First Dolls"!

So one and all.. Enjoy!

Gotta say thank you all for the birthday wishes, I had a FANTASTIC day and got some really awesome presents!

My brother bought me an amel yearling corn snake for my birthday/xmas combined... He is SO beautiful and lovely, and called Talisker.




Rob got me a bicycle! His Mum gave me money to get bits for it (padded pants... lady specific saddle... essential.) and my Mum bought me lightweight camping cooking gear! A doublewalled woodgas stove. It's brilliant. Dad gave me a nice fat cheque for a digital radio for the studio/vivarium for Talisker which is great as well.

I am feeling SO GOOD about 2013! I had a meeting with my business advisor today and we talked about the past six months, what I can do in the next six months... My biggest issue is the waiting list! A year is too long! He's given me a load of tips to improve productivity, no. 1 is getting myself organised. While I was there I gave him plenty of examples of how unorganised I am... We laughed a lot about it. I thought I'd missed a dentist appointment but it turned out I had my calendar set on the 14th.. Nice one.

Anyway I'm really excited and have a cool plan for later in the year that I KNOW you're going to like

SHHH

Cloud's wings are up on youtube! [link]



There was one of the prototype wings too but I don't speak in it because I was grumpy XD

[link]

^^^ That's what my mum keeps saying to me!

I'm now a trustee of the Pound for Piper charity raising money to help restore the memorial gardens for the Piper Alpha disaster 24 years ago. We had a press release today as we're now an official charity, I run the facebook group, collate emails and do adminy things.

I'm still working for Felisfire but as a volunteer being paid in site currency. It's fun and I really hope it grows to be a little bit of an earner, either directly or by proxy... I've got a massive load of work to do for that for the Advent Calendar event so I'll upload that to my scraps when it's done.

I've been calling various companies to pick more brains about casting! Doing it all yourself is rewarding but oh so exhausting and I'm finding it really overwhelming, so I'm trying to twist Rob's arm into helping me out every fortnight or so, just an evening to help do some casts or something.

I have a proper dragon in the works, I posted a WIP of a dragon a few months ago on Tumblr but I was so unhappy with the head it got put on the back burner. I've been resculpting it over the past few weeks and fired it a couple of days ago, along with ordered all the glass eyes for it from Germany and more silicone I hope to have a finished example to show you all in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure if it will have latex wings or not, but I'm leaning towards it being a yes.

Bats won the last poll by 1 vote over kirins! Western dragons came last so... Of course that's what I had already sculpted... haha! I will do bats after the dragons and then kirins after that, they will be making their debut next year.

Commissions wise... You will have seen Cloud and his wonderful wings That's partly why I haven't been around for a full month. I spent a week making a pheasant gryphon intensively to try and get the mechanism right, another week making Cloud and then Mum decided it would be a great idea to put a wood burning stove in the sitting room, so we had to roll back the carpets, knock down the wall we had built to block up the chimney, pull off the wallpaper... Then put it all back together again! Took a fortnight combined with the Pound for Piper charity stuff, but it's done now and the sitting room is very warm and cosy. I am also proud to say I can now do plastering and hang wallpaper.

There is a video of the new wings in action on the pheasant gryphon here: [link] There will be a video of Cloud's wings with me talking over it up in a couple of days or so, while I edit it.

And for those of you who are in the know... Rouko is doing really, really well! We took him to the beach on Sunday and he ran and ran and ran... Ran into the sea, ran over the rockpools, ran through the seaweed, got soaking wet and stinky and could not have been happier! Rob and I were beaming, and afterwards he was hardly limping at all. His leg has put all of its lost muscle back on, he is back to his old self. Ahh!

SO to round it all up I will have :gaiawolfess:'s commissions up within the following week along with some WIP photos of the dragon casts. Normality is sort of resumed (although what is normality...?)

OH and a note for Etsy purchases: The christmas cutoff date is the 20th of December, if you are buying a custom doll you will need to buy it on the 10th of December to give me time to get it done!

Time for a glass of wine...

Not the last you'll be hearing of Rouko but the last official update on his leg ^_^
He's fine! We went to the vets yesterday and Paul said he's completely fine. He needs a few more weeks of walks on the lead to build up muscle but he's very happy with how he's doing and said he hopes not to see me again soon haha. I gave him and the receptionists chocolates to say thank you, because they've been great.

The discount coupon has been emailed out to those of you who donated - so if you did, check your paypal email.

I'm so happy he's alright again, it's been one hell of an expensive ordeal but hopefully normality will resume just in time for Christmas. Thanks to everyone for showing your support and giving me comforting words during the whole time, I was really touched by how much people care!

Here's a pic of him waving his leg around and sticking out his tongue.

Yesterday Rouko went to the vets for his hopefully penultimate visit! Paul x-rayed through the cast to see how the healing is going. The big bone has healed completely and the small bone has a lot of mineralization so he was happy for the cast to come off altogether. I was going to keep it as a reminder but it stank so it went in the bin haha.

Poor Poo's leg though! Here's what he looked like when we got home:



Very, very sorry for himself. His leg is gross, all shriveled and stick-like, it's about half the size of his other leg because of the muscle loss.

  

He isn't really putting weight on it but I've seen him bending his wrist which is good.

I got a huge shock when I saw the state of his leg He has a HUGE ulcer on his elbow that is all pussy and sore looking, poor Rouko!



His pawpads are falling off too and all red raw underneath, he has rubs and scrapes and more ulcers on his paw, all up his leg and his armpit is red and bleeding. I have some nice goop to put on twice a day as well as masses of antibiotics and painkillers. He doesn't lick too much which is good because if he does start fussing with it he'll have to have the Cone of Shame put on.

So... Nearly out of the woods as far as vet bills are concerned! Paul hasn't charged me for the past three visit consultations, just materials which is really indescribably kind of him. The huge amount of work I've been doing behind the scenes (a lot of is boring so I haven't been updating you guys with it) means I've been able to cover all the fees.

Thank you to those of you who paid commission fees up front or in advance to help out - it helped out enormously! And of course massive shout out again to those of you who donated - this time next week I'll send out coupon codes to use in my Etsy shop.

The Etsy shop vet-bills discount will continue for another fortnight and then prices will go back to normal. Just a heads up.

I have two commissions very nearly ready to be sent off, =Silvolf's and *FaeryChildCreations's. I then have FOUR to be getting on with! They are all totally different but great fun designs and I KNOW you guys are going to love them. I also have one multicoloured dragon-fox to be photographed, and an amazing rainbow gryphon that will be going up for sale. There was a sneak peak of that on my tumblr a while ago...





I've spent the past few days doing research for airbrushes and as a result I have an enormous journal outlining my experiences, what kit I have and what kit I recommend. I have to make sure the information is right though, so it might be a little while in the making. A lot of people send me notes asking for help with airbrushes and it's a MASSIVE subject so I do fall foul of telling them to DYOR, so maybe this will help everyone a bit.

Watch this space!

We just got back from the vets, had a really great trip this time. The infection on his foot has completely cleared up! I got my fantastic Big Dutch Bloke vet again (Paul) and he said that infections have always been a problem with dogs and casts because dogs have sweat glands between their toes. When they sweat that has to go somewhere, and plaster isn't that great, so it's almost inevitable.

The receptionist/nurse Gale was really amazed at how well it had cleared up. Lots of rest, good food, love and very strong antibiotics did that He has a bit of dandruff so I've been putting a bit of oil and egg whites in his food.

(We bought Rob an ice cream machine for his birthday on Sunday and a lot of the recipes need egg yolks but not whites. Either we eat eighteen tons of meringue or I give some whites to Rouk as a treat - yum)

I asked Gale about the differing costs from week to week for consultations and she explained the different pricing to me, it makes sense. After Rouko had had his bandages replaced and everything she said that Paul had said that they won't charge me for the sedation anymore - just for the drugs. So that will save me about £16 a week which is great! They didn't charge me for Saturday's check-up either.

Not next Tuesday but the Tuesday after Paul said they're going to x-ray it and see how it's healing. He said today it has chunked up a bit and feels firmer, as well as the wound closing up. He has a little bit of rubbing on his elbow but that is to be expected really, he's put extra padding on to help.

The end is a long way away but things are really looking up after last weeks infection scare.

I'd like to say again, thank you to those who have donated. You are amazing!

If you'd like to help out you can follow this link to donate: [link]

Dolls remain at a 30% discount in my Etsy shop and on my website!

Current bill costs:

Initial visit on the 9th: £479
13th Sept: £150
20th Sept: £99
27th Sept: £67
4th Oct: £107
9th Oct: £75
Total so far: £977 (about $1,566)

We visited the vets again yesterday to have his cast taken off, the wound checked and fresh bandages put on. There is good news and bad news. The good news is that the wound is clear, absolutely fine. The bad news is that his paw has got infected due to being stuck in a cast. I wasn't told how it became infected but I have a feeling it's those times the waterproofing bag falls off and he sticks his stump in wet grass or in some chicken poo and it isn't doing him any good.

He's on uber antibiotics for a week and I have to go back tomorrow and Tuesday as well as Thursday. The receptionist (also an assistant vet-type person) said that when they took the cast off the smell was awful, they had to cut the fur out from between his toes, it was all black and gungey, and his pawpads are cracked and weeping. She said it was a wonder we couldn't smell it, they were all nearly sick. Rouko jumps on the bed in the morning, stamps on our heads with his massive heavy cast and then goes to sleep on top of us and we haven't smelt a thing. Anyway we both feel it's our fault and we're massively guilty but his mood has never been better! He's running around, playing, barking, jumping, he's lying on the carpet in the sun right now snoring his little brains out. His nose is wet and his poos are solid so I'm not worried about the infection being too dreadful.

It's scary how it just happened though, we've been going in every week and he was fine last Thursday.

Anyway these extra strong antibiotics he's been put on have bumped up the costs again :/ The breakdown currently looks like this:

Initial visit on the 9th: £479
13th Sept: £150
20th Sept: £99
27th Sept: £67
4th Oct: £107
Total so far: £902 (about $1,460)

My profits this month from commissions and sales has been the highest it's ever been and I've been working my little butt off doing side jobs on top of that. I've been selling quails eggs to the local hotel and deli, along with some chanterelle which earnt me about £70. I'm doing some art for a website which is earning me a very small amount but it's still significant when the bandaging alone costs £13

Donations have raised a stunning £341! I cannot believe it you guys, the generosity is astounding and it floors me every single time I get an email to tell me there's been another. They've ranged from £3-£100 and I can't tell you enough how much every penny matters.

To highlight that concept a little here's the bill I got yesterday broken down:
Sedation Injection: £16.85
Domitor (sedation drug): £6.18
Torbugesic (another sedation drug): £5.27
Consultation: £27.05
Antisedan (anti-sedation injection): £6.74
Carprieve Injection (to reduce inflammation): £8.21
Antibiotics tablets: £23.14
Bandaging: £0.74
Vet-tape bandaging: £2.22
Bandesive (like elastoplast): £10.62
Grand total: £106.93

It's little things that stack up, I think I got overcharged a little for the consultation though because they've only been charging £21 for the previous three visits.

If they do what I think they're going to do tomorrow and Tuesday it means I'm going to have two bills of at least £77 for those two days, and then on Thursday if I get another round of antibiotics it'll be back up into the £100s. That's £250 THIS WEEK ALONE.

Haha writing this journal and numbercrunching is making me feel like crying a little. Dad donated a bit of money, Mum doesn't have any money to donate and I'm working as hard as I can to EARN more.

I've reduced the price of the dolls in my Etsy shop by 30% ("Rouko's Vet Bills Special") and there are still FOUR custom dragon-foxes available through my website with a 30% discount.

Anyone who sends me a donation through PayPal will receive a discount coupon to use whenever they like in my Etsy shop. They will be sent out once Rouko's bills have stopped coming in (my guess is in about 2-3 weeks) and they'll range from 15%-30% off. Those of you who have already donated will get your coupons then as well, I have all of your emails written down. Coupons will be sent to your PayPal email address.

The link to follow if you want to donate is here: [link]

Thank you so much. Wish me luck for tomorrow ;_;

In the name of raising money for Rouko I've taken on a little job over at Felisfire doing some artwork for the site. It's not much but it still helps. I'm not sure if you guys would be interested in seeing what I do though, but maybe I'll do a big Felisfire art dump at the end of October. It's all candy and Halloween orientated at the moment, swamps and potions and things. Great fun.



In other news I hit 90,000 pageviews the other day which got me really overexcited. 80k was a lot but I think the day I hit 100,000 I will have a party and you're all invited

My new website is finally up, I've been meaning to update it for months but couldn't settle on a design or layout, but one day it just hit me and wow am I happy with it. It has a SHOP! Where you can buy stuff! And in celebration of that fact I've put up five custom fox-dragons with a 15% discount. (I think the 'cart' section has something funny going on with the jQuery but I'm working on it.)

I would like to say a sincere thank you to everyone who has donated so far towards Rouko's vet bills. We have managed to raise a whopping amount and it has helped me out enormously, I have been really stunned by the kindness everyone has shown. Extra thank yous go to *Lenalis and ~Khrests for signal-boosting so much, you guys are awesome.

I'm going to the vets tomorrow so I will update with another journal then. I might be able to get some sort of estimate on cost from the vet as well but we'll see.

UPDATE:
We went to the vets yesterday and the report was good. His wound is healing up nicely, but he still has to take meds twice a day. They had to sedate him to take the plaster off and apparently he's a wriggler so they'll have to sedate him again next week. Paul (the vet) said that he wouldn't use as much though, to try and save me money, and that because they've cut the cast in half and then strapped it back together it should save me a lot of money too.

Yesterday cost £98
Last week was £150
The initial visit was £450
Grant total so far: £698

In better news donations have been coming in steadily and I can't thank you all enough! Donations have raised £277! I can't believe how generous everyone has been. You've helped me keep this thing manageable. What with normal outgoings it looked like I was going to get into serious problems, but with your help and the bank extending my overdraft I've managed to stay afloat, just.

Next week isn't going to cost quite as much as this week, and the week after that should be the same, but once six weeks have passed in total they're going to take new x-rays to check the bone is healing properly. The x-rays from the emergency vets cost £118 alone, combined with the general anaesthetic it's going to cost in excess of £220. It's really frightening, so I'm working my ass off on commissions and resin dolls, selling quails eggs and foraged mushrooms to local hotels.. Your donation will help me more than I can explain, so if you have some spare cash please send it my way!

You can follow this link to donate.

In order to raise some money I have a sale on custom Dragon-Fox dolls - 15% off if you buy through my website.

I can't thank you all enough for your help.

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Thanks so much everyone for the support, I feel a lot less guilty about what happened and thankfully Rouko isn't showing any permanent side effects from it. He still has the same mad hyperactive character and still chases cats, tries to bury his bones in the veg patch, suckles on binkie and jumps on the bed in the morning.

I was looking at the second x-ray and saw what I thought was a 3rd break. After asking my vet it turns out I'm right, he's broken the other bone too, which means it's not acting as a splint for the bone with two breaks. That changes things, it means he has to have a plaster cast instead of just bandages - but because it was a compound fracture (meaning the bone came out and went back in) there is a wound which needs to be checked for infection. He has to go into the vets every week to have the cast cut off, the wound checked and then the cast put back on. I explained to the vet I have no money to pay for that kind of procedure every week, so he thought about it and came up with a plan. He used plaster of paris which is heavier but does the job - 20 years ago it was standard to use it, so it works fine. Instead of putting a new one on every week they're going to just chop it in half next week and then strap it back together, saving me money hopefully. They won't have to sedate him every time he visits, they'll just be able to cut the straps, check it out and strap it back together. After six weeks they're going to take another x-ray to check that the bones are knitting together.



This is an official plea from me for help. He's cost me £540 so far (that's something like $870) which is money I don't have. Going in every week for more medication and the procedure is going to cost me about £150 a pop, and I have to do it for six weeks. On top of that he'll need more x-rays at the end, which means he has to be sedated, so more costs. I'm back into my overdraft which means I'm paying fees for that on top of the vet bills... (Have you seen the episode of Flight of the Conchords when Brett buys a cup? It's like that.) If business has taught me anything it's that pennies matter, so if you have anything down the back of the sofa or spare change please throw it my way? You can follow this link to donate. I would seriously appreciate it. I feel very awkward asking for help, but I really do need it.

He's coping really well although he's desperate to go for a walk, every time we take him out we have to put a bag over his leg and if we did go for a walk he'd have to stay on the lead which he hates, so he's just staying in and in the garden at the moment. I think we both are desperate to go to the beach again...

Here's a photo of him stuck on the stairs. He followed me laboriously and then got stuck trying to come back down, so he just sat there and stared at me. (Rob carried him down eventually.)



Here's a video of him at the beach a few months ago.

Original Post:

(Can also be titled "I Have Mad Vet Bills")

At Rob's sisters wedding this weekend and it was so beautiful. The next day we were helping to clear up and Rouko disappeared. An hour later he was found by Rob with two ladies who had managed to corner him 500 yds down the road in someone's drive. He was limping and distraught, bleeding and wouldn't let anyone near him until he saw Rob. Rob bundled him in the car and drove back to me, I was running down the road by this point wildly calling and crying, like a hysterical numpty. All the guests at the wedding were helping to look for him, when he was found everyone was crying, honestly there were only a handful of people who managed to keep their cool and call the emergency vets. People I don't know have been getting in touch over FaceBook to ask if he's alright, I've been so touched at the compassion everyone has shown. We don't  know if he got hit by a car or if he fell in a drain or something but the vet thinks it was a fall.

Long story short I'm a really dreadful owner and Rouk has a compound fracture (which means the bone came out then went back in again). His front leg broke in two places but I've been looking at the x-rays and I think it's broken in a third place, vet backed me up on this today but wants to take more x-rays because the emergency vet ones aren't compatible with their system. I don't have the money but just... Have to find it somewhere. Selling mushrooms, quails eggs, looking after peoples cats, making dolls...

It's really just a heads up that I'm really emotional and stupid and can't focus because my poor dog keeps whining every time he moves. Jeez every time i talk about this I end up relentlessly beating myself up...

The good thing is it could have been much, much worse and he IS alive.

I have never been 100% happy with my current website and lately the one-page-for-all thing has been sucking up bandwidth and download time on my OWN connection/computer. It's been bugging me for months and I honestly considered hiring a web-designer, but all of a sudden in a flash of inspiration (don't you love those?) I've scribbled a layout and started typing out CSS and HTML.   Funny how getting something as small as the spry being the right width and colour can make you feel so invincible!

Anyway it's going great and I'm REALLY happy with the design. It will have an ONLINE SHOP integrated into it! I keep handing out business cards at events and feeling so embarrassed at people looking at my stupid website, but once I've finished this one (Magweno 3.0) I know I'll be proud to show it off. CAN'T WAIT

[link]

There is a new video up on my YouTube of the Aquamarine Dragon being posed. This video demonstrates my new latex wings and how to pose them as well as their durability. It also is generally good for showing you how to pose the dolls as well as how posable they are!

Follow this link.



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Currently for sale:

Rob and I are looking to buy a little 200 year old cottage in the Cairngorms National Park and renovate it, add an extension and poly tunnel etc so I have been tied up calling banks enquiring about mortgages and all that jazz.

I can't get a mortgage because I haven't been trading for long enough but the good news is that if I keep my current rate up and I HAD been trading for long enough (2 yrs), I could get a teeny weeny mortgage! Rob has a "proper" job and is thinking of working offshore as a night baker (ironically he's gluten and wheat intolerant - but still loves baking) which means he'd be the income-earner for doing... well... everything. My "earnings" go straight back into the Magweno business into materials for more and bigger projects so I wouldn't be able to contribute financially, but I wield a mean electric screwdriver!

It's exciting but keeping me busy, my brother also has a french exchange student staying over so we've been trying to show him the best bits of Scotland. Added to that my brother is also starting college on Monday, so we have to move alllll of his junk down on Sunday and we're going to a highland games tomorrow, along with meeting some planners, architects, calling parents to ask for loans and to pick their brains about rising damp and stone slate roofs...

I want to keep up high production levels though so expect three more dolls very soon! Two need touch-ups, one is ready to go. One is a commission with dragon wings which I still have to take a video of, the other two will be for sale! One is very colourful, purples, blues, white and gold, the other is spotty and neutrals with teal details. Pretty, small, simple, will be cheap

Watch this space!

I needed some more polymer clay ASAP so I dashed to my recently discovered local craft shop and grabbed what they had. Nice colours but oh my goodness it's like sculpting with soggy dough?! It's even more delicate than fimo soft, even for me and I USUALLY sculpt with fimo soft! niiiightmaaaare

Just a warning Don't let Sculpey III put you off, there are better polymer clays out there.